All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You're like the curious george of whores
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
