isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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