So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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