I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
