Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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