so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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