So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize