i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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