You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize