He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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