The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
