first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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