If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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