i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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