She is in my trunk
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
