You work out of a Hotel?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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