I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
