You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
