grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
