Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
