i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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