She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
