you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
