Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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