On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
