What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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