end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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