I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
