I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
