All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
