Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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