Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.

Fav 35 1728 3579
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?

Fav 22 8590 1059
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(817): View more from Texas

I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.

Fav 6 3950 1996
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

Fav 6 3196 1207
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(224): View more from Illinois

I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania

Fav 14 2788 1013
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(915): View more from Texas

Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

Fav 3 1909 903
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(251): View more from Alabama

Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

Fav 7 1220 3291
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(828): View more from North Carolina

It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy

Fav 2 449 497
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(937): View more from Ohio

are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.

Fav 2 103 12
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