Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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