you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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