Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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