I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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