Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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