listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
