i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
