you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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