It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
