I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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