Banned from zoo.
Again?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
