There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
