I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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