What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
