Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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