Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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