Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
