I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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